Tagged with humor

People For Whom I Would Rather Vote For President

On our drive up the coast from Disneyland, Max and I made a list of people – real and fictional – for whom we would rather vote for President. I’m not sure if that sentence makes grammatical sense. It’s very late/early. Without further ado… Jed Bartlet Matthew Santos Martin Sheen Bill Pullman’s character from Independence … Continue reading

My Job and Another Jack Funny

(originally posted on LiveJournal) Jack funny first. Jack was in his car, driving to work. He said, “I’m the Mommy, so I’m going to work… My manager is selfish and mean.” I love my son. I hate my job. I’ve been up til about 2 am most nights working. All of our products are released … Continue reading

Jack’s First Pun

(originally published on LiveJournal) We’re playing Incredibles (with Jack dressed in his Incredibles pjs) and Max is Mr. Incredible. We went to my office to fight the Omni Droid. Mr. Incredible says, “Where is something I can punch?” Without missing a beat, Jack goes to the craft table, picks up my dragonfly shape maker and … Continue reading

Nana’s In Heaven

Jack saw my mom’s jewelry box and wanted to know what was in it. I told him that it was some of Nana’s jewelry. He said, “Nana went to heaven.” I said, “Yes.” He said, like a jaded teenager, “So you took her stuff?” I love my kid. Even if he hasn’t been using his listening … Continue reading

Overheard from the Kitchen

My MIL is about to feed Jack dinner. Max is helping her decide what to feed him, and starts microwaving something. MIL: What’s that we have there? Max: (in bright tone) It’s Winter Squash! MIL: (excited) Winter Squash?!? That sounds ducky! Max: (in parent voice) No, organic winter squash and water. Well, I thought it … Continue reading

Tales from Mommyhood

In my last post, I said that my next post (that is, this post) would involve Baby Bodily Fluids. I know all of you are waiting to read about them, so I will not make you wait any longer. Jack likes to fly — we pick him up and raise him horizontally over our heads. … Continue reading

All Purpose Update

I never explained where “I’m the Mommy” came from. In the TV show “Mad About You” Jaime (Helen Hunt) has interviewed for a job, and somehow Paul (Paul Reiser) runs into the hiring manager, sees his family picture and tells the guy that he and Jamie are “trying.” Jamie finds out and is pissed when … Continue reading

Camelot Is Lonely

Jack has fallen asleep in his new, super-duper swing, which has 6 songs for music, nature sounds, a moving mobile that can be turned on or off, and 6 speeds. Oh, and it’s a papasan that can rock back and forth or side to side, and the seat reclines fully. So, what’s the problem? The … Continue reading