My Kids Have Two Moms

I don’t know what it is, but it seems like a lot of adoptive parents are currently whining about how it’s so unfair that people recognize birthmothers as mothers. They complain, “I’m the one who is there everyday. I’m the mom!” My kids have two moms. My kids have two dads. We know Cassie’s birthfather, but he’s recently … Continue reading →

Matching in Robyn’s Adoption Land

Last week, I wrote about how matching is done today. My intention was to write about matching in Robyn’s Adoption Land next, but I realized that I had to explain how counseling is done there. Simply for convenience, we’re going to assume that the expectant father is a part of the adoption plan. For more … Continue reading →

Options Counseling

In 2012, I read a great post at Therapy Is Expensive. Until then, I had never heard of Options Counseling. In the adoption realm, Options Counselors counsel pregnant women, providing information and support about all of their options – abortion, adoption, and parenting. There is no pressure or coercion. In one of the first Robyn’s … Continue reading →

Pre-Birth Matching

In private domestic infant adoption, most prospective adoptive parents match with an expectant mother sometime during her pregnancy. According to the latest Adoptive Families Cost and Timing Survey, 35% of adoptive parents matched less than one month before their child was born. Only 12% matched after birth. So that means roughly 43% matched more than … Continue reading →

To the AP Who Bad-mouths Open Adoption Because Your Experience Sucked

Dear Adoptive Parent Who Bad-mouths Open Adoption Because Your Experience Sucked, I’m a mom through adoption. I have two children, adopted privately. We have open relationships with their birth families. Since becoming an adoptive mom, I’ve read so much from all members of the adoption constellation. I’ve written for Adoption.com. I was one of the … Continue reading →

Better vs. Different

This post has been sitting in draft form since September 2012. It was prompted by a BirthMom Buds blog post, in which the author writes: A local adoption agency is holding a workshop at my church for couples and families interested in learning more about adoption. This agency, whom I consider to be very reputable, … Continue reading →

TPR in Robyn’s Adoption Land

On Monday, I wrote about how TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) works now. Today, we’re traveling to Robyn’s Adoption Land to learn how TPR works there. Who Must Sign TPR? All biological mothers must sign TPR. (That was easy.) When it comes to biological fathers, it’s a little more complicated. I wrote about this previously. In … Continue reading →

How TPR Works Now

TPR is an abbreviation for Termination of Parental Rights. Before an adoption can take place, the biological* parents’ rights must be terminated. In private domestic adoption, the biological mother usually – probably always – signs the TPR herself. TPR for biological fathers can be a bit trickier, because each state treats them differently, and some … Continue reading →

All the Cards

To show how long some items have been hanging around in draft form, this post started as a response to a post from Another Version of Mother from May 2012. When did the families looking to adopt become the victims of the system, the ones who get all the sympathy, the attention, the ability to … Continue reading →

Open Adoption Roundtable #51: Does It Get Easier?

We interrupt this week’s series on birthmother expenses for an Open Adoption Roundtable. The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It’s designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. We’re up to Open Adoption Roundtable #51.  Earlier this month, Heather was at a workshop … Continue reading →