How Many Parents Do Adoptees Have?

I was in a unicorns and rainbows adoption group for two months. It came up in discussion that yes, a child’s birthmother is her mother, and that child is her birthmother’s daughter. So, the birthmother can say, “My daughter,” and “mom” and be correct. One person staunchly fought this. Her children have one set of … Continue reading

Wearing Adoption on Your Shirt

Wearing Adoption on Your Shirt

Originally published by adoptionblogs.com on the Transracial/Transcultural Adoption Blog, July 17, 2009. A few days ago, a friend of mine from an online group wrote about the “Adoption Rocks!” t-shirt she was wearing. Two people came up to her and told her their positive adoption experiences, and she was very excited that her shirt had … Continue reading

15 Minutes

15 Minutes

I don’t recall if I ever revealed that “Salem” – the fictitious name I chose to keep where we lived anonymous – is really Santa Rosa. So, guess what? We used to live in Santa Rosa. In October, wild fires burned about 20% of the housing in Santa Rosa, CA.  Until July 2016, we lived … Continue reading

It’s Not About Homeschooling

It’s Not About Homeschooling

Last week, two very different conversations happened about one incident on two Facebook groups: 13 victims, ages 2 to 29, kept shackled in foul Perris home by parents, officials say. The headline actually explains it pretty well. A couple has 13 kids whom they didn’t feed and kept shackled in their rooms. (Except when they … Continue reading

Thanks Southwest! (Or, Representation Matters)

Thanks Southwest! (Or, Representation Matters)

I have two very different stories of Southwest Airlines. In 2006, one of their employees tried to have us arrested for not having a piece of paper their Customer Service rep told me we didn’t need. (The captain intervened, got the paper, and we went home.) In 2011, they were the only airline that would … Continue reading

Why Yes, It Is a New Year

Why Yes, It Is a New Year

I never make New Year’s resolutions. I came across a diary I wrote in elementary school – one page for each date. On the first page (January 1), I wrote a list of resolutions, which included “write every day.” There was an entry every day for about 2 weeks, and then…. So, I don’t do … Continue reading

Did You Have a Point Back There?

Back in March, I wrote “Someone Is Wrong on the Internet.” Why did I do that? I’m glad you asked! I belonged to two groups about “African American” hair. On one of them (one that doesn’t have any restrictions on sharing or quoting posts) a woman asked a question. The absurdity of the question and … Continue reading

Big Yellow Taxi

Big Yellow Taxi

It’s been just over 5 months since my last post. I’ve started other posts: the follow up to my last article and the visit with Jackson’s birth family in Missouri, for example. But every time I sit down to write, I feel like I’m lying. The fact is, I’m Depressed. Not “I have an incurable … Continue reading

Someone Is Wrong on the Internet

About 3 years ago, I was a member of practically ALL of the adoption groups on Facebook. Adoptive Families, Creating a Family, Heart for Open Adoption, Domestic Infant Support… you get the idea. I spent a lot of time in these groups. I made some friends. I also made a couple of enemies. That’s what … Continue reading

My Kids Have Two Moms

I don’t know what it is, but it seems like a lot of adoptive parents are currently whining about how it’s so unfair that people recognize birthmothers as mothers. They complain, “I’m the one who is there everyday. I’m the mom!” My kids have two moms. My kids have two dads. We know Cassie’s birthfather, but he’s recently … Continue reading