Cassie is Three Months Old!
25 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Cassandra, update Tags: Cassie, milestones, update
Cassie officially turned three months old today. I dressed her in an outfit that my good friend Helena sent all the way from Spain. Jackson and I like it. Max says she looks like “the background on Laugh-In” and that “it’s something that Peter Sellars on acid would find a little loud.”
I’ll let you be the judge.
At three months, Cassie can hold her head up at about 45 degrees when we put her on her tummy. But we don’t put her on her tummy too often. She likes it more than Jackson did, but she still doesn’t like it that much. I don’t use a protractor, but it looks like she can hold her head up between 45 and 90 degrees. We’ll try to do more tummy time this month.
Cassie laughed for the first time today! I was giving her kisses, and I think my hair tickled her face, and she laughed! Jackson says she laughed at him before, but this was the first time I heard her. She makes delighted noises that are sort of like squeals. She is incredibly smiley! Except when I get the camera out. I can rarely catch her smiling. I got her in the photo shoot, but the cat (Sassy) got in the way:
She can follow objects with her eyes. In fact, she seems to enjoy doing so. She looks at everything! Especially light and colorful objects. She’s interested in Sassy cat, but not so much in the other two cats. Firefly is very interested in Cassie. Sassy is only interested in Cassie when I’m holding Cassie, because then I can pet Sassy with my other hand. She looks for the source of voices, especially mine, Daddy’s, and Big Brother’s.
She can hold her head very steady. She’s beginning to try to roll over. She kind of heaves her body up, but lacks the momentum to actually roll over. She can also keep her head level with her body when we pull her up to sit. She likes to be held sitting up these days.
She can grasp items, but seems to prefer not to. For example, she can hold her rattle and her teething toy, but doesn’t do so for very long. Yes, I said “teething toy.” I think she’s teething. Two of her siblings got their first teeth at around four months. She doesn’t care very much for toys and won’t try to grasp things yet. She prefers to suck on her fists.
She can totally bear weight on her legs. I wouldn’t be surprised if this child is an early walker. I keep forgetting she can’t actually stand.
Cassie coos and even babbles now, but not nearly as much as Jackson did. She does say “ah goo” but it’s not her favorite combination. She likes “ooo” and “uh”.
She’s almost grown out of her small gDiapers, which go up to 14 pounds. She’s almost out of her 0-3 month outfits that have feet. I predict she’ll be totally out of them by four months. She can wear medium gDiapers, though they’re a tad big on her. She’ll have her check up next month, so we’ll know how much she weighs and how tall (long) she is.
And while we’re on the topic… remember Jackson at three months?
Liebster Blog
24 Jan 2012 1 Comment
The other day*, almost immediately after posting about Cassie not sleeping in her crib during the day, I received this comment:
I nominated you for the Liebster Blog Award. http://www.adoptivemommydiaries.com/2012/01/liebster-blog-award.html
I had no idea where this started, but the description from Adoptive Mommy Diaries seemed very much in keeping with the spirit of this blog. So, I looked it up. The best description I found states:
[the word] Liebster meaning “favorite” or “dearest,” to showcase bloggers with fewer than 200 followers. Upon accepting the award the recipient must then pass it on to five more blogs of note.
The Liebster Award is for “little blogs” with fewer than 200 followers and is a way to spread the word about your great finds.
The rules of this award are:
- Show your thanks to the blogger who nominated you by linking back to their blog. Thanks Adoptive Mommy Diaries!
- Nominate five other blogs with 200 followers or fewer by posting a comment on their blogs.
- Post the award on your blog.
- Check out what the other up-and-coming blogs have to offer.
Five blogs I’ve nominated:
- Carrying a Cat By the Tail: A birthmother blog. I’ve always admired the author’s honesty and openness.
- God Will Fill This Nest: A blog that was, until recently, a waiting to adopt blog. The author’s son was born a few days after Cassie.
- Mama’s Always On Stage: The only non-adoption blog. This one belongs to my friend Paula who writes about insane stupidity on a national level. And her life. And sometimes theatre.
- They’re All My Own: An enjoyable adoption blog.
- TTA Baby: A prospective adoptive parent blog. Again, I admire the author’s honesty and openness.
I feel that I should mention that I would nominate Adoptive Mommy Diaries if she hadn’t been the one to nominate me. Her blog is a new find of mine, and I’ve really enjoyed her writing and perspective.
* OK… almost a week ago now. I started writing this post and got busy with Jackson’s birthday party prep.
Party Politics
20 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Jackson Tags: birthday, Jackson, mommy guilt
I’m not talking about the Presidential primaries. I’m talking about something a lot more stressful: Jackson’s birthday party.
I actually like parties – well, I like throwing parties. But my house is not made for indoor parties. We have a weird floor plan. Outdoor parties, we can do – we have a huge backyard, especially by California standards. But we do not have much contiguous space inside. Therefore, Jackson’s birthday parties cannot be at home.
I don’t abide by the “invite as many children as the birthday boy is old” crap. My son has friends. He should be able to invite them to his party. For his 3rd, 4th, and 5th birthdays, we invited everyone in his class at preschool, which pretty much meant we invited the preschool, plus a few friends we had outside of preschool. This year, we’re having his party at “The Lego Place” (not its real name), which comes with a limit on how many children can attend.
Now, I practically begged the boy to choose to go to Safari West and get his picture taken with a cheetah. But he didn’t want to, especially after we learned that at least two organizations enable a person to adopt, or sponsor, a cheetah. Upon learning that, Jackson wanted to adopt a cheetah (more on that in another post) and I suggested that we ask people who would normally get him a present to contribute to the adoption fund, and that lead him to decide he wanted a party.
For months, Jackson talked about who would be invited. I told him not to talk about it at school, and he says he didn’t. There were more and more names popping up. In the last days of Christmas break, we made the list. He came up with 10 people without breaking a sweat. Then he stopped. Now, I know my son had mentioned other kids, so I looked at his class picture.
Me: “Didn’t you say you work with This Boy all the time?”
Jackson: “Oh yeah. Invite him. And then we have to invite This Other Boy, because they’re friends.”
Me: “And didn’t you say you wanted This Guy?”
Jackson: “Yeah, This Guy. And His Sibling, because His Sibling is in my group.”
I did the prompting because, a) I didn’t want him to get back to school and say, “Oh yeah, we should have invited So-and-So”, and b) because I didn’t want him to leave anyone out if he didn’t have to. We had a number of people we could invite, and I wanted to go with that.
Then we realized we forgot 2 people we play with on a regular basis. One of my high school friends still lives in the Bay Area and she has 2 daughters, and it seems the only time we get to see each other is at birthday parties, so… Jackson chose to invite them, though. I didn’t force him to invite anyone.
Which brings me to the most stressful part. There’s a boy that Jackson has a love/hate relationship with. Sometimes they get along famously, sometimes they fight like only 5-year old boys can. (As far as I can tell, it’s just because of their personalities. One boy isn’t to blame.) In our most recent encounters, they fought. Jackson preferred not to invite him. I’m friends with his mom. Other people she knows are being invited. I tried to explain this to Jackson as best I could without using guilt. (My mother was the master of the guilt trip and I do not want to lay that on my kids.) He didn’t particularly care.
And the second most stressful part: There’s an age limit. I mean, we’re playing with Legos and they have planned activities. The Lego Place said we could invite younger children, but they’d be in a different area. So we decided not to invite children under age 4, which omits a couple of newer friends who I hope don’t feel too slighted.
Cassie’s birthday is in October, and around mid-October, it’s still warm in the Bay Area. She’ll be having the suburbs’ largest 1st birthday party at our local park. Hopefully, there won’t be too much stress associated with the guest list.
Six Years Ago
17 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Jackson Tags: birthday, Jackson
On Friday, January 13, 2006, Jackson was supposed to be born. His birthmother had arranged to be induced on Friday the 13th. We arrived in Missouri late on the 11th, and met S and her family on the 12th. At some point, we realized that if Jackson were born on the 13th, then he would be released on Monday the 16th, which was Martin Luther King, Jr. Day – a holiday. No court. No court means no judge to accept the TPR. No TPR means who the heck is Jackson going to go home with?
So S changed her induction day to Monday, January 16th. I wrote extensively about Jackson’s birth:
This year, Monday, January 16th was again Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. My son turns six on a Tuesday, the day he was born. The poem says, “Tuesday’s child is full of grace.”*
My son may not always be the easiest child, but he is certainly the best son a mother could ask for. I love him, and I thank God every day for him and for his birthmother.
Happy Birthday Jackson!
First Skating Lesson Complete
Practicing Ice Skating
Family Dinner
Speaking of full of grace… here is Jackson’s third time on roller blades, with cousins Eliana and Eden pulling him along.
Up
Down
Lifted Up
* Coincidentally, Cassie is a Tuesday’s child too. Max and I are both Friday’s children (“loving and giving”).
No, I Don’t Have to Put the Baby Down
11 Jan 2012 8 Comments
in Cassandra Tags: Cassie, healthy sleep habits, sleep
Cassie is a baby who loves to be held. It took her more than one month before she would sleep in her crib at night. It’s only been in the past few weeks that she’ll happily lie or sit down while she’s awake. And she’s still not consistently sleeping in her crib during the day.
I’ve had several people, including Cassie’s birthmother, tell me that I have to put the baby down and let her cry for awhile.
No, actually, I don’t.
Now, I don’t have a problem with cry-it-out. I could write more about that, but it really is another post. However, Cassie is too young for a cry-it-out approach. Says who? Well, in addition to me, Dr. Marc Weissbluth, author of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, the best sleep book available (at least in 2006). I’ve been rereading the book. He says that you could let a baby this young cry for up to 20 minutes if you want to. However, it may not make sense for a baby this young, so you should do what works for you and the baby.
That, of course, is the key – what works for us. Just because Cassie’s a baby doesn’t mean her feelings aren’t valid. She needs some more time to feel secure? OK. She doesn’t like lying down during the day yet? OK. Sure, it’s a pain, but as one mom at Jackson’s school (and one of my new friends) said, “This time is so short.”
Yesterday, Cassie took one 45-minute nap in her crib and another 1-hour nap in her crib. Baby steps. I’m sure it will all work out.
First Trip to the Emergency Room
03 Jan 2012 2 Comments
in Cassandra Tags: health, Cassie
Cassie’s fine.
On New Year’s Day night, around 11 pm, she started coughing. Then, she started coughing so much, Max went up to hold her. She kept coughing. She had a hard time catching her breath. It sounded like she was wheezing.
I tend to underreact to these things. My mom was very into the emergency room. We were regulars there. I don’t think it did me any good, frankly. Max tends to overreact. So, we called the pediatrician’s recommended advice nurse. She couldn’t hear anything on the phone, but said we should take Cassie to the ER.
Off I went. The ER was packed. There were easily 14,000 people there. OK, I exaggerate, but not by much.
The incredibly nice man at the registration desk said we’d be triaged immediately, but that the wait for a doctor was 1-1/2 to 3 hours.
We were, in fact, triaged immediately. A lovely nurse named Theresa took Cassie’s temperature (99.7) and oxygen level (100%), then listed to her breathe. She couldn’t hear wheezing. Truly, Cassie’s breathing had improved quite a bit since we got out of the car and calmed her down. I said I’d be happier staying up with her all night and keeping her upright on me than sitting in an ER full of sick people. The nurse essentially concurred.
We came home. I stayed up with her until 6 am, reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I’m embarrassed to say that I only read about 230 pages in 3.5 hours. Anyway, at 5:30 am, Cassie ate and immediately fell back asleep. In 4 hours, she coughed 3 times. It sounded a little croupy, but it passed pretty quick.
Cassie is still congested from her cold. She hasn’t coughed an insane amount since that one bout on New Year’s Day.
Any bets on how much that ER visit’s going to cost?
2011 Blog In Review
01 Jan 2012 1 Comment
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
The concert hall at the Syndey Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 11,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 4 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.
My favorite part? A lot of visitors got here by searching for “messy house” and “messy room.” Many also searched for “Gilmore Girls.” Maybe I should write more about them so as not to disappoint people. Of course, I don’t think they ever had an adoption story line. Hmm…
I also had a goal of posting once per week. As I posted 112 times this year, I actually posted an average of twice per week. Go me! Wonder if I can keep it up with two kids?
The two most popular posts are So Many Agencies And Yet and How the Gilmore Girls Should Have Ended.
I’m really happy that so many people are reading my blog. I’m trying to put more effort into it, and it’s nice to see the stats go up.
Thanks everyone!
Open Adoption Roundtable #33: What I Have Learned About Open Adoption in 2011
30 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
in not kids, open adoption roundtable Tags: adoption
The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It’s designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. We’re now at Open Adoption Roundtable #33.
What did you learn about open adoption in 2011?
I started out with a very cynical “what I learned about open adoption in 2011″ idea, then realized that it was really a “what I learned about the adoption process in 2011″. I’ll still probably write that, but it didn’t answer the question at hand.
So I really started thinking: What did I learn about open adoption in 2011?
I finally realized that 2011 wasn’t an epiphany year as past years have been. In the past, I’ve learned (in no particular order): not all birthmothers are the same, relationships change, open adoption is hard, and open adoption is important to my son.
When the year began, I wanted to learn more about the experiences of people who aren’t adoptive parents. I ended up focusing on birth parents. I almost wrote “birthmothers” but I did find and follow two birthfather blogs as well. (They seem to be the only two in existence, which is too bad, but that’s another post.)
I learned quite a bit from reading birth parent blogs. Although many of their situations are different, they all seem to share a distinct feeling of loss for their placed children. None of the birth parents I follow regret their decisions, exactly, though they do sometimes regret the actions or circumstances that led them to their decisions. None of these people regretted having their children, and all of them are fiercely protective of their children.
I find it interesting that people from very different backgrounds and situations who may have very different individual experiences so often relate the same feelings. I think I’ll have to look at adoptive parent blogs and see if we exhibit a similar trend, but I’m not sure that we do.
So, what did I learn about open adoption in 2011? I guess I learned more about what open adoption is like through other people’s eyes. Nothing earth shattering, no epiphanies, but a lesson learned nonetheless.
First Christmas/Sixth Christmas
29 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
in Christmas Tags: Christmas, photos
This was Cassie’s first Christmas and Jackson’s sixth Christmas. Jackson was FAR more excited than Cassie.
I was woken up just before 8:00 am. I drove over to Starbucks, where I somehow managed to order the proper coffee for the grandparents and for myself. I returned home, where Jackson was chomping at the bit to open his first present of the day, and Sissy’s. Sissy could not have cared less, which disappointed Jackson.
Jackson got to open one present, then wanted to open another. Fortunately, the grandparents arrived and brought more presents! Jackson and Max distributed the presents. We each got to open one – in age order, per Jackson’s instructions – then Jackson opened all of his. He was so excited to play with his presents, and upset that Cassie didn’t care about hers, that he said I could open her presents. I did, which was kind of odd since I had bought most of them. But we did get some very lovely surprises from friends and family.
Jackson received $45, the Kreo Starscream, the smaller Hogwarts Lego set, 2 stuffed animals, 7 or 8 books, 3 pairs of pjs, candy, clay, a Transformers shirt, a calculator, Phineas and Ferb Band-Aids, pin art, foam, a parachute man, models to build, a Star Wars Lego set, and a new sports-themed bed set.
Cassie received $45, 2 new dresses, 1 new pair of pjs, a Steelers outfit, a Gymboree outfit, a Gymboree tutu set (in 18-24 months – my aunt just wanted to buy tutus so she called and asked when our clothes “ran out”), a seahorse that plays music and lights up, 6 books, 2 stuffed animals, a swaddle blanket, a stacker toy, 2 new binkys and a binky purse, new burpcloths, 2 wooden toys, 2 new cloth gdiapers, socks that look like shoes, bottles, and 2 first Christmas ornaments.
I made the grandparents a snack of toast on English muffin bread, then called my sister, who was en route to South Carolina. I made the mistake of telling her that Jackson hadn’t opened his “big present” yet. Jackson heard me, and immediately started asking what the “big present” was. After Max was done prepping something in the kitchen, we were able to get Jackson to open the last of Cassie’s presents for her, since she had woken up again. Then, I produced the “big present” in a small box.
I have a video of him opening it. When he realized it was his “very own iPod Touch” he got very happy. He looked straight at the camera and said, “This is the best present ever.” I had spent several nights loading it with his games, music, and videos. He kept it with him for the rest of the day.
Max made dinner, or lunch, depending on how you look at it. It went relatively well. Jackson continued his recent behavior of not eating anything, despite the fact that he likes the food we put in front of him. I’m hoping it’s just a phase.
After dessert, we were debating whether or not to call my Aunt Carol when she called. We had a lovely chat with her and with her daughter, my cousin Jessica, who is getting married next year! I’m so old.
Speaking of being old, you know you’re old when you ask for pajamas and a laptop battery for Christmas. I got 4 pairs of pjs and 1 battery, and they made me very happy. I also got a $30 iTunes gift card, which is now down to $9.98 as of this writing. Jackson made us ornaments in school. Max got the new Sports Night collection, an iTunes card (which is all gone now), the new Legend of Zelda game, and The Ferret Calendar.
Christmas was a success, I think. Now, on to Jackson’s Sixth Birthday.
I really am old.
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- O Christmas Tree (2011 Version)
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- 4 Stockings Were Hung on the Staircase with Care
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- Jackson and Cassie on Christmas Morning
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- Jackson and Cassie with the Tree
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- Jackson Opening Hogwarts
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- Jackson Opening Starscream
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- Jackson Opening His New Bed Set
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- Jackson Hugs His New Lion
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- Jackson and His Presents
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- Cassie and Mommy Open Presents
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- Cassie Opens Her Stacker
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- Cassie Opens Elmer
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- Max Opens His Presents
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- Cassie and Grandpa Bob
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- Cassie’s Presents
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- Cassie and Her Presents
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- Cassie Under the Tree
Cassie is Two Months Old!
25 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
in update, Cassandra Tags: milestones, weight, update
Christmas Day was also Cassie’s two month “birthday.” I’ll write about her first Christmas (and Jackson’s 6th) tomorrow, but I wanted to post her two month photo and update tonight.
Cassie's Official Two Month Photo
We took her to the doctor on Wednesday. She is 11 pounds, 5 ounces and 23 inches long. That puts her in the 25th to 50th percentile for weight and 50th to 75th for height.
Cassie smiles! She always smiles the first time she sees big brother when he comes home from school. She often smiles for me when she sees me the first time each day or after it’s been awhile.
One of the second month milestones is that she should respond to a bell in some way. I don’t ring bells near her, so I have no clue if she would respond to a bell. She doesn’t seem to startle much due to noise when she sleeps, but she sure does notice it otherwise.
She’s starting to coo too. I remember Jackson cooing more, but that could be just me. No, I just looked at his two month post, and he was definitely cooing more.
We don’t put her on her tummy much. Actually, we don’t put her down much during the day. She doesn’t like to be put down. She’ll play for short periods of time in her play gym or lying on a bed with Jackson. However, she doesn’t like to sit in her chairs. She’s OK in her swing for a bit. She really likes being worn. My friend Autumn taught me how to use the Baby Bjorn, so now I have another carrier in my arsenal, and I can use both hands! My friend Shaina brought over a new mei tai too and Annemarie brought another sling that Max can use.
I suppose we’ll have to start tummy time soon. Jackson never had it. He had bad acid reflux, so learned to flip himself over off of his tummy almost from birth. Seriously. He would roll onto his side first, then, a bit later, he learned to kind of throw himself onto his back. I think he’s developed OK nonetheless.
She holds her head pretty steady when she’s upright, but she’s still a little wobbly. However, it’s good enough that now Jackson is allowed to hold her while he stands up. However, as she’s 25% of his weight, he can’t really go anywhere with her.
She can also follow objects with her eyes if you hold them in front of her, which is apparently an advanced skill for a baby her age. Just today, she stopped crying when she saw me shaking her bottle, and boy did she follow it! She’s looking around all the time now. Great-Grandma was really surprised by how much she’d grown in just one week.
