Tagged with money

How Do Birthmother Expenses Work?

This is the first in a three part series about birthmother expenses. Birthmother expenses are expenses that prospective adoptive parents (PAPs) pay to or for expectant mothers (e-moms) during and just after pregnancy, and, hopefully for the PAPs, placement.  The expenses are supposed to be pregnancy related, but what that means and how much PAPs … Continue reading

If I Had $590.5 Million

I don’t play the lottery, Powerball or otherwise. I think I’ve bought two lottery tickets in my entire life. And yet, like the blonde in that joke, I still dream of winning the lottery. I mean, who doesn’t. The winning numbers last weekend were 10, 13, 14, 22, 52 with Powerball number 11. I would not … Continue reading

Adoption Costs A Lot. It Shouldn’t.

This week’s Adoption Magazine blog hop topic, Adoption and Finances, is very timely. For tax purposes, I had to tally up the cost of Cassie’s adoption.* After I had done so, I posted the following on Facebook: Robyn Chittister: I just totaled up what we spent on Cassie’s adoption. Yeah… wowzers. Good Friend: I can … Continue reading

A Certain Period in 2011

In April 2011, we were matched with an expectant mom. In June 2011, we found out that she had decided not to place her baby for adoption. Totally understandable, yes, but of course, we were disappointed. We found ourselves not knowing what to do next. In California, home studies are good for only one year. … Continue reading

How To Surprise a Collection Agency

In my last post, I ended with When Max started working again, I told DCU we could pay $X. They wanted $4X. I said no. They kicked us to a collection agency. The collection agency called. The guy introduced himself. I sighed. “Hi.” He told me that DCU would settle the debt for a large … Continue reading

I Now Like Fannie Mae More than DCU

When I began working for Oracle in 1999, I became a member of Digital Federal Credit Union (DCU). Max already was, as he had started working for Oracle in 1998. When we got married, we merged our accounts. For 12 years, we were members in good standing. We had paid off two car loans through … Continue reading

Applying for State Benefits

California has a web site through which you can apply for benefits, including Cal Fresh (Food Stamps) and Medi-Cal. At least, you can sort of apply. You put in all of your information, and then a person calls you and tells you to go to your local social services office on such-and-such a day.* You … Continue reading


In my post, Disconnect, I talked about feeling disconnected from the people around me. I said one of the reasons I felt this way is, “2012 was a rough year.” You got some of that in the post about Cassie’s birthfather. But there is a second, even bigger reason that 2012 was rough. Max had … Continue reading

I’m Ambivalent About Lil Snee & AdoptLink

We were matched with Cassie’s birthmother through Lil Snee’s facilitation service, AdoptLink. Lil maintains an Available Adoption Situations page, which I checked pretty much daily. I inquired about a situation in June 2011, but that one had more “birthmother expenses” than I was comfortable with. However, I did send Lil our home study, profile book, … Continue reading

The Blogs I Read

On one post, one of the commenters mentioned my blog roll. Not all of the blogs that I read are listed there. About two years ago, I overhauled the blog. Before that, I did list all of the blogs I read in the Blog Roll, making it ridiculously long. When I chose the blogs to put … Continue reading