Tagged with expenses

The Cost of Cassie’s Adoption

I just took the Adoptive Families magazine Cost & Timing of Adoption Survey. I already had all of our expenses in a spreadsheet, sorted by year, for our taxes. I just had to break them down into categories for the survey. I am sharing them here. Let me tell you why. I am not sharing … Continue reading

Birthmother Expenses In Robyn’s Adoption Land

If I were Queen of the United States, instead of just Queen of Robyn’s Adoption Land, everyone would have free health care. The minimum wage would rise with inflation. Food servers would have to be paid minimum wage, and tips wouldn’t count towards that. Schools would be better funded than prisons. Women would have the … Continue reading

Are Birthmother Expenses Necessary?

In my last post, I discussed how birthmother expenses work. Many people, sometimes adoptive parents, but also birth parents, adoptees, and others inside and outside of the adoption community, question whether birthmother expenses are necessary. Their argument goes like this: How would she be making ends meet if she wasn’t pregnant and placing? Lots of … Continue reading


Max walked behind me and saw the title of tomorrow’s blog post. Max: “Are Birthmother Expenses Necessary?” (pause) Yes. (pause) Shortest blog post ever.  

How Do Birthmother Expenses Work?

This is the first in a three part series about birthmother expenses. Birthmother expenses are expenses that prospective adoptive parents (PAPs) pay to or for expectant mothers (e-moms) during and just after pregnancy, and, hopefully for the PAPs, placement.  The expenses are supposed to be pregnancy related, but what that means and how much PAPs … Continue reading

When Money Reared Its Ugly Head

I’ve written before about birthmother expenses. I’m not against them, as long as they are pregnancy-related. Jackson’s birthmother didn’t ask for anything initially. Then, she had an “emergency” C-section, and couldn’t do anything for six weeks. We paid two months’ rent. We were glad to do so – clearly, she couldn’t go to work because … Continue reading

TV Rental, Really?

First, some background for those who don’t eat, sleep, and breathe adoption. In domestic adoptions, prospective adoptive parents (PAPs) can sometimes pay expenses that the expectant/birth mother incurs. These expenses are supposed to be pregnancy- and birth-related. Different states have vastly different rules about what is covered and how much. As far as I know, … Continue reading