I Do Not Like Mother’s Day

The Open Adoption Bloggers are creating a Best of the Blogs: Writing About Mother’s Day list. You pick someone else’s past post about Mother’s Day and submit it as the “best of.”

I’m usually up for anything that the OAB throws at us bloggers. I didn’t do the last Open Adoption Roundtable because I’d never sought therapy related to adoption. Other than that, I’ve participated in every one of the OARs and Open Adoption Blog Hops.

But I’m not going to nominate someone else’s writing for or about Mother’s Day. I always thought of Mother’s Day as kind of a corny, made up holiday to begin with. I don’t even have a picture of Jackson and me from my first actual Mother’s Day. Then, my mom died 2 weeks after Mother’s Day 2009.

Now, my email inbox is full of spam telling me what my mom wants for Mother’s Day. I’m glad we don’t have cable anymore, so I don’t have to watch the sappy commercials.

It’s all made that much more complicated by the fact that my mom and I didn’t get along. I was not her ideal daughter; not by a long shot. And I did not think that she was a particularly good mother. I loved her. I miss her. I wish she were here. But our relationship was not the one the commercials glorify.

My feelings about Mother’s Day are also slightly complicated by the fact that my children have other mothers. Each year, I am late with their Mother’s Day presents. I still owe them February updates. (There’s been some stuff going on here that I’m keeping personal.) In any case, I do feel sorrow for them on Mother’s Day. I know that S and Laine would both have liked to have raised their children. I’m a mother because they couldn’t be mothers to these kids. It’s just how it is.

So yeah, Mother’s Day… not my favorite holiday. I like doing nice things for Max on Father’s Day. I always forget Grandparents’ Day. (How is that even a holiday?) I love my birthday. (Also not a holiday.) But maybe Mother’s Day just isn’t for me.

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