I Miss the Quiet

My wonderful cousins have had the kids this weekend so Max and I could celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary. We didn’t go anywhere. We stayed home, had meals together, saw The Dark Knight Rises, you know, had adult time.

I do miss the children. It was hard not reading Jackson stories or cuddling with Cassie and listening to her Princess CD before nap time. But there are two things from our pre-children days that I forgot about…

The first is sleep. Blissful sleep that occurs from whenever you feel like it at night ’til whenever you feel like it in the morning. I love lying cocooned in my bed because it’s such a comfy place to be. Max lets me sleep in on weekends, although I’m not really asleep. I’m listening to family sounds in bed. That morning time in bed is pretty much my only alone time. I feel incredibly guilty for taking it too, because I should be downstairs feeding the baby or playing with Jackson.

But this weekend, Max and I got to lie in bed in the quiet.

That is the other thing I forgot about, quiet. Jackson makes noise constantly. In fact, we have to say to him, “Jackson, you don’t need to make noise every second.” He even talks with his mouth full. I blame myself. I talked to him all the time when he was a baby. I enjoy engaging in actual conversations with him. But sometimes, when he’s just singing or talking to himself, I just want him to stop.

Cassie shrieks. When she’s happy, she shrieks. When she’s angry, she shrieks. When she’s excited, she shrieks. When she’s sad, she shrieks. When she’s hungry, she shrieks, sometimes even between bites. She’s just a loud, expressive baby. We’re working on signing and I look forward to the day she can talk. Until then, we put up with the shrieking.

At night, when the kids are asleep, Cassie’s monitor crackles. We have to use Jackson’s old monitor, because the audio on our lovely new video monitor doesn’t work. So we have the crackly monitor.

This weekend, it has been quiet. Sometimes, the only noise has been the air conditioner. In the car, we could talk to each other.

I miss these things.

I wouldn’t trade my children for them. I love my kids. I had just forgotten about the quiet. The blissful, still quiet… which we should have again in about 5 years on our 15th wedding anniversary.


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