10 Days ‘Til 10 Years: You Don’t Date Friends

On July 27, Max and I will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary. I’ve decided to post something new everyday about us. Because it’s my blog, and I can. 


I was a sophomore dating a freshman named JR. It wasn’t the smartest decision I’d ever made. JR and I were very wrong for each other. We dated for 10 or 11 months, breaking up for about a month in there somewhere, then breaking up for good around my birthday, September 1995.

Max liked me, but because I was dating JR, we were just friends.

We were good friends, and I was conflicted by how I felt about him.

We were both members of Scotch ‘n’ Soda Theatre, CMU’s student-run theatre organization. In 1995 & 1996, SnS performed most of its shows in the Drill Deck, an awful, but large space that took up most of the bottom floor of the Navy Building. It didn’t have a door. Therefore, anyone working on a show could be roped into spending the night with the set in the Drill Deck to make sure that no one stole anything – a very real possibility. On the night of September 30, Max and I had to spend the night in the Drill Deck. Fortunately, the show had a twin bed, and I got to sleep in it. Max slept on the stage.

That night, we had a very good talk, according to what I wrote in my journal the next night. Apparently, I told Max that he shouldn’t like me. We were friends, and I needed a friend. My best friend had graduated and moved to Seattle, and I had just broken up with my boyfriend. So Max said, “You don’t date friends.”

The next day, it dawned on me: JR and I were never friends. That’s why we broke up. Beyond the physical, we had nothing in common. So, if you don’t date friends, and you don’t date people who aren’t your friends, who are you allowed to date?

Thus began a series of journal entries in which I contemplated Max. On October 8, I made a “personal vow not to see anyone until” after Christmas.

I think we can all see where this is going…

One thought on “10 Days ‘Til 10 Years: You Don’t Date Friends

  1. Pingback: 10 Days ‘Til 10 Years: Timeline « The Chittister Family

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