Apparently, The Today Show’s “experts” chimed in on which is better, open or closed adoption. No surprise – they all said closed. I once again decided to ask an expert – Jackson.
First, I had to ask Jackson if he knew what a closed adoption was. He didn’t. I told him that a closed adoption was one where the birth parents didn’t have any contact with the adoptive family or the kid.
He immediately said, “That’s not better.”
Me: An open adoption is where the birth parents and the adoptive family do have contact.
Jackson: That’s a better one.
Jackson: Because the people know each other before they even go to adopt a baby.
Me: What do you like better about being in an open adoption then in a closed adoption? What do you like about having contact with your birth family?
Jackson: It just makes me happier.
Me: What if you didn’t have contact with your birth family? What would you miss?
Jackson: It would make me be not very happy. I’d miss my birth family. I do have a big birth family.
Here’s the deal: Open adoption is better for the children. That’s the theory, and research is bearing this out. Certainly, from reading accounts of adult adoptees from closed adoptions, many of their problems stem from having no contact with their biological families. Open adoption isn’t a cure all for that, but it can help with issues such as “who do I look like?” and “why was I given up?”
I’ve had a post in the works about why I like open adoption. I should probably finish that someday.