So there was this big Circle of Moms blog contest brouhaha. Essentially, the blog Adoption Truth was removed from the contest for being anti-adoption. Several other bloggers reported this fact. Adoption reform blogs started to win the contest. Circle of Moms canceled the contest. I read a lot of the blog posts about Adoption Truth – about it being a voice for adoption reform, not being an anti-adoption blog. I read several posts on the Adoption Truth blog itself.
The title, Adoption Truth, bothers me, because, to paraphrase Jesus Christ Superstar, “we all have truths. Are mine the same as yours?” But the blog’s subtitle is “My Life… My Experience… My Truth.” So the blogger acknowledges that this is all HERs. Great. Except that she doesn’t write that way.
The blog does call for adoption reform. The blogger makes some good points. However, the blog is, as far as I’ve read, anti-adoption.
In the post, Positive or Negative, the blogger writes:
“Adoption is not a positive thing. Not for a mother or her child. It is loss and pain and grief. It is taking a baby away from the family he or she was born in to and forcing them to become a part of a family that begin as complete strangers to them. It is about a relationship so natural, so much a part of all of us, that is broken in the most unnatural of ways and can never be right again.”
That assertion right there is the definition of anti-adoption. Obviously, I disagree with her. Even so, I have no problem with her blog existing. I don’t particularly care about the contest, and I don’t care for Circle of Moms so I don’t care to learn more about their position either. I believe they shouldn’t have censored blogs, especially if they didn’t explain in the first place that the blog had to be supportive of adoption.
Because you can be supportive of adoption and write about the hardships in it. You can be supportive of adoption and of adoption reform. Adopt Talk is a blog that does this beautifully. The Chronicles of Munchkinland is another blog that talks about the highs and lows of open adoption and being a birthmother. Its author also talks about the need for reform. The Declassified Adoptee discusses adoption reform, and, while I perceive it as being a bit more negative about adoption than positive, I don’t think being negative or positive is the blogger’s goal. (I also find it to be very well written and I tend feel smarter for having read it, even when I disagree with the author.)
The author of Adoption Truth is anti-adoption. She takes issue with anyone, especially other birthmothers, who present any of the positives in adoption. She writes that if a pregnant woman walks into a crisis pregnancy center and says she wants to parent, she shouldn’t be told about any other option. I’m fairly certain that if a pregnant woman walked into a crisis pregnancy center and says she wants to place her baby for adoption, the blogger would very much want that woman to be told of her other options. To her, adoption means sacrificing babies.
She is allowed to tell her Adoption Truth, but she disrespects anyone whose truth is different than hers.
She is entitled to her opinions. I vehemently disagree with them, with the way she presents them, and with the way in which she dismisses anyone with different opinions.
So, yeah, I don’t support censorship, but I don’t support Adoption Truth either.