Today, I ran across a post on an adoption forum that always irks me. A mom was asking how to tell her 6-year old that she was adopted. Fortunately, most people know that children should never “find out” that they are adopted – adoption should always be a part of a child’s life. Most of the responders politely told the mom this, and gave her tips for telling her daughter the truth. One of the responders said that telling a child too much younger than 6 about adoption didn’t make sense because she wouldn’t understand. I know what I think, but I decided to ask an expert.
I asked Jackson for his opinion.
Me: Jackson, what does adoption mean?
Jackson: To have another person for your mom, even though you didn’t come out of their tummy. They weren’t pregnant with you.
Me: Do you remember how old you were when we told you you were adopted?
Jackson: Um, ZERO! (said in the tone of “Duh!”)
Me: What would you think if someone didn’t tell their child he was adopted until he was older, like 5 or 6?
Jackson: I think that’s bad, because it would hurt the person’s feelings. It’s rude.
Me: Who’s feelings? The kid’s?
Me: Why would it hurt their feelings?
Jackson: Because you didn’t tell them something that was related to them. That’s mean.