I’ve been very fortunate to make some new friends at Jackson’s new school. Unlike my son, who is “a friend to all,” I’m not very good at making friends, so I was worried. But I differ from some of my new friends. Several of them lament the end of breaks. I am all too happy that break is over.
I love my son. Jackson doesn’t do well with unstructured time. I feel guilty for not being able to give Cassie or Jackson the appropriate amount of attention. I had Jackson alone for almost six years. The only time Cassie and I have alone is Jackson’s school time. Now that she’s four months old and capable of organizing her daytime sleep (according to Dr. Marc Weissbluth of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child), I really want to get her on a nap schedule so she gets the sleep she needs.
When Jackson is home, Cassie does not have a routine. We had playdates on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. She slept at the park while I was standing up rocking her twice. (And boy was that painful!) I don’t think she slept at all on Wednesday. What we do is all about Big Brother.
Of course, Big Brother doesn’t see it that way. We have to leave places early because of Baby Sister. We have to run errands to get Baby Sister’s formula, diapers, and “teeving toys.” We have to be quiet if Baby Sister is actually, by some miracle, taking a nap.
I’m not complaining, exactly. I love both of my children and I am glad to have both of them. It’s this illusion of balance. I really do feel that Cassie gets the short shrift, but Jackson’s life is impacted just enough to make him feel marginalized. Meanwhile, I’d just like to play with my kids while keeping the house relatively clean.
What? It could happen.