We do 90% of our food shopping at a small grocery store that stocks mostly organic food. We’ve been going there since Jackson was about 1 year old, and many of the employees have been around awhile. One of the checkers is a black woman. We’ve always chatted whenever we happen to be in her line. She really seems to like Jackson. Last week, Jackson saw her in the store, and brought her over to see his baby sister. (I guess she was returning food to the shelves, so she wasn’t behind a cash register.)
We started chatting, and she asked, trying to be careful and going for maybe a little bit of humor, “How difficult was it to … acquire them?” I smiled and said, “It was easier to acquire Jackson than Cassie.”
It turns out she’s single and has been thinking about adoption for awhile now. She asked a few questions. It was clear that she had many of the misconceptions that people outside adoption usually have. I told her that if I was ever around when she had a break, I wouldn’t mind talking to her and answering her questions. She asked what my schedule was like this week! So, we ended up having coffee together today during her lunch break.
She asked some really good questions, like, “With the fees involved in adoption, what’s the difference between adoption and buying a baby?”, “How do you know it’s all ethical and above board?”
I shared my opinion on the subject (which I’m not sure I’ve explicitly written about, though I have mentioned it). I also told her about agencies, facilitators, and attorneys. I told her about the fees involved. I told her about Pact, specifically. I told her how long it took us to adopt Jackson (8 months, from signing with the facilitator to his birth) and how long it took us to adopt Cassie (19 months, from starting our home study to her birth). I told her about the home study, and what it entails.
She also talked a bit about race and a tiny bit about her view of transracial adoption. I might make a post of it.
In the end, she had to go back to work. She said that she “didn’t think it was something” she wanted to go through. So, I may have just talked the grocery store checker out of adopting. I rather hope not. Only time will tell.