We had a phone conversation with our lawyer in Louisiana this morning. This past weekend, he had an adoption fall through. We talked about all the bad things that can happen – at least it felt that way. Most of it centered on the African American cultural bias against adoption. Laine doesn’t have any family members that we know of who will help her with this baby. Her aunt and “adopted” grandmother are for this adoption. Her father is against it. (Her mother isn’t in the picture.) She seems pretty convinced she’s going to do this. Still, it’s not over ’til it’s over.

And if she decides to parent, do we continue on this adoption journey? We’ve tied up all of our money with Lil Snee of AdoptLink. Most of her situations are not in our budget. We took a calculated risk. If we miscalculated, it may cost us ever having a daughter.

It’s not just the money. It’s the match too – the wait. The will she or won’t she? It’s hard on all of us. I know a woman who would only accept baby born situations. She adopted 7 kids that way, and she never paid more than $15K. This was all around the time we adopted Jackson – 2005/2006. She may have adopted one more since then. I wish.

2 thoughts on “Melancholy

  1. Gosh, Robyn, I am thinking about you and praying every day that you will get your baby girl later this month! We are going thru the same fears right now, considering situations that might work for us, not just with the total but with what we might lose if the mother decides she wants to parent. We can’t afford to lose very much at all, and I worry that we won’t be able to add to our family due to money.

    We’ve been shown to a few expectant moms, but haven’t been chosen yet. And a few situations seemed too risky, so we chose not to be presented. It’s so hard.

    If feelings are worth anything, I think this is your baby. But I’m gonna keep on praying!

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