Discouraged

Nothing promising to report.

We registered with Adoption Consultants Inc. to be shown when their contracted families don’t meet the expectant mothers’ needs.

I contacted Adopt America 411 about a biracial girl due soon. I never heard back.

I contacted Angel Adoptions about an African American girl due on July 31. I emailed them twice. I never heard back.

I contacted Christian Adoption Consultants about their available situations. Guess what? I never heard back.

I sent an email message to One World Adoptions, on the advice of someone I had been emailing. I recommended Heaven Sent to her. She signed with One World and had her baby 3 days later. (Yeah, I’m jealous. Anyway.) I got a form letter back, sent an email message with specific questions, and still haven’t heard back.

Bundle of Joy contacted me with a situation, but it’s $31,200. Way over our budget.

Heaven Sent has had several situations, but the genders have all been unknown.

Adoption Insight, a facilitator in California, has a situation for an African American girl who was due on August 14. They get an F from the Better Business Bureau, due in part to the number of complaints. The complaints allege that they don’t screen expectant mothers properly, among other important issues.

The only lead we have right now is from AdoptLink. Most of the AdoptLink situations are way over our budget, but this one fits right in. Lil Snee always returns email messages, and she usually calls. I wish this weren’t a rarity, but it is. It certainly makes me appreciate Lil.

I talked to a woman from a very small agency in Missouri. She is very honest, forthright, and ethical. But the agency only does 2-3 placements per year. It’s $1000 to sign up.

We’re thinking of signing with Nightlight Christian Adoptions, a full-service agency. We were going to sign with them this spring, but we matched. We may also go from being registered with Adoption Consultants Inc. to signing on as a contracted family. This means they’ll actively try to match us with an expectant mom. It’s difficult to figure out. If we sign with ACI, then we likely can’t accept situations from elsewhere, due to the upfront expense. I have to talk to Nightlight again and refresh my memory. Ultimately, we need someone who’s working for us, and we don’t have that.

In News of the Weird: Remember “Jasmine“? She was referred to the agency by a birthmother who had placed before. That birthmother found out that Jasmine fell off the face of the earth, and decided to go to Indianapolis to retrieve Jasmine and bring her to Kansas. That birthmother wants to place her 17-month old, so the agency gave her some traveling money. Jasmine’s (supposedly) still pregnant and (supposedly) wants place both her unborn baby and her toddler. But she needs traveling money. Hahahahahaha.

If Jasmine makes it to Kansas, I will be the first to apologize for not trusting her. However, we’ve already given her money to get to Kansas. We’re not giving her anymore. I don’t expect anything to come of this. I just find it… interesting? … that she’s trying to get even more money. I wonder what goes on in people’s heads.

In News of the Annoying: We have to pay our home study update fee just to find out what we need for the home study update. Spiffy.

A number of my friends and family members are pregnant right now. Most of the time, it doesn’t bother me. But sometimes, when I think of people due next year, and I don’t know if I’ll have a baby before then… Our family isn’t complete without our baby girl, but it may have to be.

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6 thoughts on “Discouraged

  1. Just wanted to mention to try A Little Bit of Heaven. ?Very Low sign up fee. Affordable situations, the owner Betty Smith returns calls,emails etc. Heaven Sent is also wonderful. Low fees and low placement fee. We just adopted our baby boy working with them. Hope this helps.

  2. Robyn, I feel your pain! I think it’s really tough to adopt right now if your budget is low, like both of ours. And I’m confusing the heck out of DH, signing on with agencies left and right – he doesn’t ask anything anymore, just wants to know where to sign! I think we are up to 8, or is it 9?, agencies/referral services. Maybe 10.

    If they don’t cost more than $100-200 to sign on, I do it, even knowing it’s a long shot. I figure…if I have enough long shots, maybe one shot will make it!

  3. Hey Robyn, Thanks for visiting my blog. Im sorry your wait is just like ours.. Your son is adorable and reminds me of my son with his math skills and quick comebacks 🙂 I see youre in California so you know how expensive homestudies here are.. (double what the placing agency told me to expect).. I hope you get your good news soon.. I’ll be checking on ya..

  4. Wow… I’m a newly pregnant birth mom. AM and new from the add start that I wouldn’t be patenting this child. I’ve been attempting to work with ACI and Joanne. I am really stressed out dealing with her. All I wanted was to be able to find a adoptive family early and not have to worry about where my baby will go once it’s born. I have not received any help from Joanne and she told me I would. I’m only 9 weeks but, Ive made my decision. I didnt expect to have to look for another agency but, this one has me feeling so discouraged I want to scream. Any suggestions? Do I have to go through and agency? How can I find a adoptive family my own?

    • Whether or not you have to go through an agency depends on the state’s laws. However, a full-service, reputable agency will help you and the adoptive parents every step of the way. Both of my children came to me through facilitators, and I know that, afterwards, their birthmoms said that they were not supported at all by the people who were supposed to be looking out for them. Open Adoption and Family Services has a stellar reputation. I highly recommend looking into them.

      I really wish you the best during your pregnancy and beyond!

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