Not in Kansas Anymore

I heard from JoAnn at the Kansas agency. Margaret left her a message stating that she doesn’t think she can go through with the adoption. She’s changed her mind and decided to parent.

Most adoptive couples go through at least one failed match on their way to a successful adoption. We didn’t have that experience the last time – Jackson’s birthmom was our first and last match – so I guess we were due.

It’s hard to go back to waiting indefinitely. I had started to wash some of the mountains of clothes our friends have been so kind to give us. In fact, I have a huge pile in the dining room right now.

When I told Jackson, he said that he was sad. “Sadder than you or Daddy.” He then asked, “When are we going to get another pregnant lady?”

This is when I really want my mom. She would have gotten this, and somehow, would have known, if not what to say, then what not to say. She could be really good for emotional support when it counted.

We had to have our fingerprints and LiveScan updated. If we don’t have a child in our home before the end of September, we will need to have our home study updated. That means going through a lot of the paperwork again. And paying another fee.

Yeah… I don’t feel that our family is complete, but maybe…

6 thoughts on “Not in Kansas Anymore

  1. I’m so sorry 😦 We didn’t go through this and I can’t imagine how hard it must be, especially with a child at home expecting a sister. I would say “it’ll happen when it’s meant to happen” but that’s a bit obvious and not all that reassuring. So instead I’ll just say “that stinks.” Because it does.

    I’m keeping your family in my thoughts 🙂

  2. I just found your blog, and I’m so sorry to hear of the failed match. We also had an adoption fall through (maybe even two depending on how you see things…) We’re also in the bay area, so it’s nice to read about another adoptive family not too far away. I hope you get some good news again soon.

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