We matched with an expectant mom who will be in Kansas, and is due around August 4. That’s the short version.
For those who want details…
It all began April 5, when Sheila from Heaven Sent sent out a notice about a situation.
This Black American mother of three currently (ages 5,4,3) is looking for a semi open adoption plan for her Black American baby girl due August 4th in KS. Healthy pregnancy and no substance abuse noted. She is unable to financially provide for another child and is looking for a 2 parent family of any race to provide a good life for this baby.
I emailed Sheila immediately, and she sent our profile over to the agency in charge.
Very late on Wednesday, April 6th, I got a phone call. It was 9 pm our time, actually. The woman on the other end said she was JoAnn, and she had a respiratory infection, so she was hard to hear. She runs a small agency out of Kansas. She told me a little about herself and about the situation. She asked me a few questions. Essentially, the expectant mom was letting JoAnn choose the family, but she did want to talk with us on the phone. Would that be OK?
Ummm… yes! So we made plans to talk at 9 am the next morning.
At about 9:15, we got a call. JoAnn told us that Margaret (the expectant mother, and no, that’s not her real name) couldn’t find her phone, so she’d call back in a few minutes… hours later, I called back. Nothing.
I got an email message at 10 pm. JoAnn’s phone had died, she had had a birthmother go into labor, and Margaret lost her phone. She would call us on Friday.
Sometime around 11 am on Friday, I was with Jack in his room. Max came in and handed me the phone – it was JoAnn. I got to talk to her and Margaret for about 20 minutes. JoAnn did a lot of the talking, but it was nice talking, and helpful. Margaret was very quiet. All she wants is a loving family who can give the baby what she can’t. I babbled a bit… I may recount what I said but it’s not important right this second. The biological father basically cut and run. We finished the conversation with JoAnn saying she’d call us later to talk about the financials.
At Jack’s t-ball game on Saturday, I got a call during the second inning. It was JoAnn, and she wanted to know if we wanted to proceed. I said we had some questions. She said she’d call back in a few minutes…
Today at 1:30, I called her. She was buying supplies for a birthmother coming in today. She said she’d call back in a few minutes…
At about 3:00 she called. It turns out, her cell phone literally died, as in, it no longer works. So she’s on a borrowed one. And was calling my cell number from memory, but got the last 2 numbers transposed, so she kept getting a weird recording. We ascertained that this was unusual for her – not calling back and all – and she apologized.
I asked a bunch of questions, she answered them, walked through the process, and….
Margaret does want some expenses, and we’re comfortable with the amount she’s asking for. The agency doesn’t have any fee upfront; we pay them when she signs the consent. JoAnn and her husband actually often put adoptive parents up at their home, for free. (But we have to catch our own meals. I think I can handle that. There’s a Starbucks in Wichita, right?) Basically, this should actually be exactly what we had budgeted for adoption expenses, plus a bit more when you figure in plane fares.
Jack knew we were waiting to meet with the “agency woman”. He was very good while I was on the phone with JoAnn. We brought him into the office and he saw Max making balloon weapons (long story). He said he wanted butterfly wings. I said, “You know what else you’ve been wanting? Since you were a little baby? Someone who’s going to live in the room next to you?”
And he got a big grin on his face and said, “A baby sister!?!”
And we said that we talked to the “agency woman” and that a pregnant lady had chosen us to be her baby’s parents. I actually think I’ll blog this part separately too, because it was very cute, and important.
We don’t have all the details yet. We’re hoping to meet Margaret before the delivery, but we don’t know if that will be possible. We don’t know whether Jack will come to Kansas with us or not. We’re trying not to get too excited, as she can change her mind anytime. Still, I’ll probably be taking advantage of the gDiapers clearance real soon. It’s nice to have an excuse to buy stuff because you have a reasonable chance of needing it in the near future. (I think that’s another post too.)
I had planned on posting this on Monday evening, but it’s going to be Tuesday morning when you read this.
Also, the picture is from The Match Game. Max’s idea.