Help Me Decide What To Do Next!

livejournal01Our story so far: We have signed up with 3 referral services (Hands to Hold, Heaven Sent, and Little Bit of Heaven) and one agency (One World, FL). We’ve been shown once with H2H, once with HS, and a few times with LBoH, but nothing yet. (Obviously.) I’m just about done revising and updating our profile book, and I need to decide what to do next.I’ve created this poll. Below the poll is the information about the three entities. Theoretically, they’ll all cost about the same in the end, $20-$25K. Of course, that may not be actually true.

Poll #1721336 What Should We Do?

Should we sign with (check all that you think):

View Answers
Adoption Consultants Inc.
A Bundle of Joy Adoption Referral
Nightlight Christian Adoptions
None of the above
Other, please explain in comments

Adoption Consultants Inc
Fee to register: $200
Fee if we match: $12,000
Fee doesn’t include legal or travel. She believes we can probably adopt for $20,000 total, perhaps less if there aren’t many expectant mom expenses.
Almost all situations are in California.
Will show our profile to moms who aren’t sure of gender, but will inform them that we are waiting for a baby girl.
I can’t find anything bad about this service, but I don’t personally know anyone who’s used it, just reviews on the web and a forum. I think this is probably our best bet of finding our baby, but I’m wary of using a facilitator again. I did speak with the woman who runs the service, and she does seem to do her job well and all.

A Bundle of Joy Adoption Referral
Referral Service
Fee to register: $100
Fee if we match: $1,200
Agency and attorney fees vary. There are some situations that are $25,000 or below.
Situations are all over the US. She specifically mentioned FL, TX, SC, GA, NV.
Will not show our profile to moms who aren’t sure of gender.
A Bundle of Joy comes recommended from several people on the list I co-moderate. We would have signed with them last year, but, at the time, decided not to allow couples to specify gender. They’ve changed their policy (which was a change from their initial policy of allowing gender specification). I’m inclined to sign with them because it couldn’t hurt, but I’m not sure that we have much hope of matching this way.

Nightlight Christian Adoptions
Fee to register: $1,000
Fee if we match through them: $20,000
Fee if we match because an expectant mom found us elsewhere: $6,000 + legal
Situations are almost all in CA, though there are offices in CO and SC as well.
They put our profile up on their web site of waiting families. They give our profile to any mom who matches our criteria.
They have one adoptive family who is waiting for a Caucasian girl, and they have only been shown twice in 20 months.
They often have to turn away AA expectant mothers because they don’t have the families for them.
I felt a real connection with the social worker with whom I spoke. They may not be able to find an expectant mom for us, but, we could put our profile out there and create pass-along cards and have them screen any contacts.




Mar. 23rd, 2011 08:49 pm (UTC)
my votes
So my first inclination is to perhaps up the age a little bit so you have a better shot of what you want without nearly all the problems. If the baby is 2, that’s older and the kid will likely never remember their birth parents unless contact is kept.

My second inclination is to do A bundle of Joy. Not just for the price, but also because the birth family will be far away. The birth mother might have a lot of problems that she wants to attach to you because you’re a stable family. You are too kind, and someone who lives closer might try for more physical access if you’re going to go with an open adoption. Those are my thoughts.


Mar. 23rd, 2011 08:59 pm (UTC)
Re: my votes
Hi Krista,
Actually, adopting a toddler is harder to do privately. Most children placed privately are under 6 months. To adopt older, we’d have to go through the foster system, which we don’t want to do for many reasons.
Thank you for voting!

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