One of Those Days

(originally published on LiveJournal)

 feel like crying, for some reason. Nothing particularly bad has happened today. The Contractor no longer wants to speak with me, so we’re to communicate exclusively via email. This is related to her telling me to “just shut up” in a phone meeting last week. Really, not having to talk to Contractor is a Good Thing ™. However, it reminds me how much I hate this job. Also, I know my French manager has come to rely on me. I don’t know his true feelings about either of us (Contractor or me) but he does seem to like me and think that I do a good job. I know I’m not as professional as I should be all the time. It’s difficult when hate oozes out of my every pore.All this hating my job has Max stressing, because he’s not sure that we can make it on a part time income from me and his income from his current gig. He’s in San Mateo today to have a meeting with his boss, so maybe we’ll know more later.

It’s been raining practically non-stop for more than a week. We had some sun on Saturday, and Jackson and I went to a museum to see real and stuffed animals. I bought 40 packs of Harry Potter trading cards at the dollar store. And Jackson got a stuffed turtle that he named “Tornado”. Why? Because he calls tortoises “tornatises”, and that sounds like tornado.

In any case, the rain has gotten me down. I don’t remember this many overcast, icky days in a row since at least 2006.

And speaking of 2006… for those who are on my Girls-Only filter, I still haven’t talked to Jackson’s birth mother yet. I was going to do so last night, but we had friends over, so Jackson didn’t get to bed until 9:30, and that’s 11:30 in Missouri.

Jackson has ballet tonight. He thinks it’s too hard. He was pestering me about ballet for months, and now that he’s in it, he freaks out about it.

So, yeah, I’m just feeling pretty blah. Oh – and I’ve been dreaming a lot about my mom lately, so I’m not getting good sleep. I wake up in the morning and I have to remember she’s dead. I hate that part.

In funny news, Sassy is eating our one and only houseplant. I should go stop that.

All in all, a whiny post from Robyn. I hope you don’t mind too much. I’m not looking for sympathy, I just wanted to get some of the negative emotions out.

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