Dear People

(originally posted on LiveJournal)

Dear Contractors,

You get paid $55 per hour, which is at least $20 more per hour than I make. So why am I awake until midnight fixing your mistakes?

Sincerely,
The Only Actual Technical Writer Employed by The Company

Dear US Manager,

If you want your projects done on time, I have a few suggestions:
– Fire the contractor you just love. She doesn’t know FrameMaker, and she’s belligerent.
– Hire my husband. Why? Because he’s a damn good writer, an even better editor, and he knows FrameMaker almost as well as I do. And, because it’s insulting to have to do other people’s work when I know a more than competent individual who can do the job.

Sincerely,
The Only Actual Technical Writer Currently Employed by The Company

Dear Husband,

You really are a good writer, and I’m sorry people suck. I love you.

Love,
The Only Wife Currently Enjoyed by You

Dear Stephenie Meyer,

Please write Midnight Sun. Trolling the Twilighted fanfic web site is beginning to feel a bit desperate.

Sincerely,
A Recent Heroin Addict

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