Life Update

(originally published on LiveJournal)

Now, the yeah-that’s-great-but-I’d-rather-have-my-mom-back part: My sister and I were the beneficiaries on my mom’s checking and savings accounts. My father is OK with this. He insists he has enough to live on. I may call my uncle (his accountant) and make sure, but still… Anyway, we got our checks. I’m just going to come out with it – it’s about $20K. I can’t find information that I can understand about what the estate tax is in California, so I don’t know how much we’ll get to keep.

And that leads me to my next thought, which is, if I/we had been more responsible in the last couple of years, we might get to keep the money, or do something slightly impractical, instead of using it all to pay debts. I really want to get Jack a good play structure. I really want to adopt again. I really want to add on to this house so we can adopt again. I really want a lot of things. But mostly, I really want my mom to be around again. I miss her.

Speaking of our house, we bought it for $426K in 2004 and now it’s worth $205K. So, I have to figure out which agency or service to call to ask how we can possibly be expected to keep up two mortgages for far more than our house is worth. BTW, our house in NH sold for $220K in 2004. So…

Speaking of my mom, I’m kind of envious of people who get hospital stays to say good-bye to their loved ones. My grandfather’s death in 2005 was one of those. He was in the hospital for about a week. It was awful. But we got to say to good bye and know that he heard us. My mom didn’t get any of that. All the people who talked at her Rosary and then at the Memorial Service. She never knew.

I know that prolonged hospital stays are draining for everyone and I don’t mean to wish that on anyone. It’s just how I feel right now. Please don’t eviscerate me for it.

To end on a happy note, I’ve re-read “the good parts” of the Twilight series several times now. I have to give the books back to my friend, or else I will memorize the part where Bella hits Jacob and breaks her hand. Max read all of the books. He had read the first three before, but read them again before reading the fourth book.

I need ice cream. Why does Dreyer’s Grand Light have to use all sorts of funky ingredients? I like their flavors. Breyer’s doesn’t use the same funky ingredients, but it doesn’t taste as creamy, nor does it come in many fun flavors. Like S’mores and Birthday Cake. Friggin’ high fructose corn syrup.

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