What We Know Now That We Wished We Knew Then

(I’m converting our domain, rmcsquared.net, into our professional web site and moving all personal content to this blog. Eventually, I’ll have to figure out what to do with it and how to organize it. Until then, I’m just creating a series of posts with the .net content.)

  • Adoption Network Law Center is an overpriced facilitator/agency, and their “Birthmother Counselors” are useless at anything more than finger pointing.
  • Call the hospital’s social worker and ensure that he/she can visit during the labor & delivery.
  • Never believe someone when he/she says “I’ll take care of that.” Always check up.
  • Be prepared for the hospital experience. Find out what the birth mother knows about labor and delivery. Find out what she wants, what she expects, how she feels. Never assume that someone knows how a labor really is, even if they’ve been in labor before. Every experience is different. I recommend reading the chapter that deals with labor and delivery in Dr. Sears’ The Baby Book. Robyn has written a list of questions to talk about.
  • Always know the hospital’s policy on adoptive parents. This includes finding out who’s allowed in the regular nursery, and in the NICU. Check with the NICU even if you think everything will be fine.
  • Buy at least 2-3 premie outfits. Labels lie.
  • Dressing a newborn is HARD. You will be too afraid, and the baby will freak out too, if you try to put clothes over his/her head. All baby clothes should have snaps or velcro down the front or sides for the first 2 weeks.
  • Bring more clothes than you think you’ll need. Babies go through at least 3 changes per day. And, consequently, you may too.
  • Obtain a release form for flying. Apparently, there’s an FAA law that requires babies under 14 days old to have a medical release form before they fly. Obtain this document even if the doctors, nurses, lawyers, and/or airline customer service people tell you that you don’t need it.
  • Never get off a plane if you’ve forgotten to get that release form. Give the airplane captain your doctor’s phone number and remain in your seats.
  • All drivers in Kansas City, MO drive as though they’re looking for a parking place.
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