Open Adoption Roundtable #35: Grandparents
14 Mar 2012 1 Comment
in open adoption roundtable Tags: birth family, grandparents
The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It’s designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. We’re now at Open Adoption Roundtable #35.
Write about grandparents in open adoption.
I’ve known that I wanted to adopt since I was 13. My mother was one of the few who never said, “You’ll change your mind” with a knowing look. Originally, I wanted to adopt from Romania. It closed. Then, we looked at Russia. They wanted the mother to be the picture of health. So, we were looking at other countries, like Ethiopia. I asked my mom how she would feel if her grandchildren were Black. She said, “I don’t care if they’re Black, Korean, or blue, as long as I’m Grandma!” She was amazing with Jackson, and spoiled him rotten. When someone at the Senior Center expressed disapproval at the fact that my mom had a Black grandson, my mother put that racist witch in her place.
However, my mother never did like to hear about S. She didn’t think we should be talking to her or sending her pictures. I learned not to mention S in her presence.
My grandmother once told me, somewhat out of the blue, that she thought it was “just wonderful” that we were adopting. She grew up in the foster care system. She has 15 great-grandchildren now, and she very clearly loves them all. I think she loves whomever the baby is the most. I don’t think she cares one way or the other about the children’s birth families. She doesn’t ask about them, but doesn’t make comments when we bring them up.
My in-laws expressed some concern over whether they could love an adopted grandchild the same as they would a biological one. I guess they’ll never know if it’s the same (Max is an only child), but I can tell you that Grandma Sandy loves both Jackson and Cassie very much. I’m not sure if I saw Sandy cry at her Dad’s funeral, but she cried when she had to leave after visiting Jackson for the first time. Grandpa Clyde hasn’t met Cassie yet, but he was taken with Jackson when they first met. Now, he’d do just about anything for the boy (including, if we would let him, buy the boy a dog).
I don’t think Grandma Sandy thinks very highly of our children’s birth parents, but again, we don’t talk much about them with her. I could be wrong.
On the biological side, the grandparent with whom we have the most contact is Jackson’s birthmother’s mother. I think I’ve called her “Greta” the few times I’ve talked about her on the blog. (Her real name also starts with S, so I can’t just use her initial. Besides, names are so much nicer, even if they’re not real.) At first, I thought Greta hated me. She might have, at first. But in the years since, and especially in this last year, we’ve gotten a lot more friendly. I think Jackson is a big part of that. He now cares about his birth family and wants to know them. For the first time, he got a birthday card from Greta and her husband (not S’s father). He was very excited about it. He wants to know that they love him, and the card and phone calls show him that they do. For a long time, I kept our relationship with Greta because she was our link to S. Now, I feel like keeping our relationship with Greta because of who she is and how much she loves Jackson.
We met Cassie’s birth grandfather, whom I’ll call “Corbett”, while we were in Louisiana. Laine lives with him. He’s a good guy. I don’t know how much of a relationship we’ll have with him, but I wouldn’t rule it out.
As for all of the other grandparents? Well, my Dad is “a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.” He dotes on Jackson, but doesn’t say much about how he feels. Jackson’s birthfather has chosen not to be a part of his life. We met S’s father, but his presence in her life is on again, off again. There’s potential for a relationship with Cassie’s birthfather’s family, I think, but it’s too soon to tell.
Birthplace
29 Aug 2011 Leave a Comment
in family history Tags: family, grandparents, martinez, pittsburgh, postaweek2011
The WordPress post of the day for August 24, 2011:
Have you been to where your parents were born? What was it like? If you haven’t been, describe how you imagine it to be.
My mom was born in Pittsburgh, PA, as was my grandfather. My grandfather attended Carnegie Institute of Technology. Someone told me that one of his prouder moments was when I went to Carnegie Mellon University. At CMU, I had the opportunity to see where my grandfather grew up, in Homewood and where my mom and her siblings grew up, including their house, in Point Breeze. I actually attended the church they attended, St. Bede’s. My mom went to the attached school. One summer, my friend Ken was in a show that was performed in a chapel. I was surprised to find out that the building had been Ursuline Academy, where my mother went to high school. CMU was only a few blocks away from Central Catholic High School, where my grandfather was MVP of the football team.
My father was born in New Jersey and lived in Massachusetts before moving to Martinez, CA. His stepfather built the house his family lived in. Sadly, it was sold after my grandmother died, but I know exactly where it is. My dad attended Alhambra High School, and I played basketball in their gym in junior high.
I feel very fortunate to have spent so much time in places that are so tied to my family. When I was going through old pictures, I found many pictures of my grandfather on the Carnegie Tech campus. I loved that! My grandfather is one of my very favorite people, and I miss him terribly. I’m glad to be connected to him through a common place.
Family History Tuesday: Grandparents
20 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
in family history Tags: family, grandparents, memories, photos
Almost every Tuesday, Dede offers question(s) or idea(s) to spark a memory to capture for your children, grandchildren, family, and friends.
This week’s prompt: Describe your favorite memories about your grandparents.
My mom’s mom died in May 1980. (Actually, my mom’s funeral was on the anniversary of her death.) I was only 4-1/2. I have a lot of impressions of “Grandma Missestoney”, but only a couple of concrete memories. My favorite involves pushing my sister into a towel rack. You see, I was chasing Ann (probably age 2) through the house. She ran into the kitchen and I pushed her. She hit her head on the towel rack on the kitchen/garage door. She needed to go to the ER, so my mom dropped me off at my grandparents’ house. They took me swimming, at Heather Farms Park I think. When we got back to the house, we had dinner. My aunts were there. They were in college, I think. Or maybe Aunt Carol was already working and just living in the Bay Area. Anyway, I remember sitting at the kitchen table with Aunt Carol, Aunt Sue, my mom, my dad, and my grandfather. (Ann must have been there too, but I don’t remember her there. I can really see the others sitting down at their places.) My Grandma was up and down going into the kitchen to get things. Everyone was trying to get me to eat broccoli, which I did not want to do. My grandmother came back from one of her trips to the counter and said, “Leave the girl alone!” or something to that effect.
Grandma Missestoney was an alcoholic. Apparently, she was incredibly mean to my mother. But I only remember her being nice to me. She yelled at me once, for pulling on a pussywillow that she had in a huge vase in front of the fireplace. It was a you’re-going-to-break-something yell, not a mean yell.
My Dad’s mom, Grandma Babica, died in October 1980, so I was 5. The memories I have of her are vague impressions. Most of what I remember is her house, along with her garage. Her husband (my Dad’s stepdad, who died before I was born) built the house and garage himself. There was a peach tree out back, and rose bushes in the front. I know where the house is, but I haven’t been there to see it since I was in college. What I remember about Grandma Babica was that she made Jell-O with peaches from her tree. I remember playing with Ann in the back of the garage, where there were plants. It was dark because the back windows were covered with a ripply green plastic. There were clotheslines hanging across the driveway, and Ann and I used to throw a ball at them. If we hit them, we got a point.

My mom’s Dad, Joe, died in 2005, just a few weeks before Jack was born. I have lots of memories about him, fortunately. He was a truly awesome man, and I wish I had … I guess there are some things that I regret doing. I wanted him to be proud of me. I probably succeeded in some ways, but there are three things I did that I think upset him, and I wish I hadn’t done them. Nothing major, but, I know he was disappointed, and it hurts to think of him being disappointed in me. I went to Carnegie Mellon because he went there when it was Carnegie Tech. I know that made him happy. Hey, it made me happy too! I met Max and learned so much more than I would have here at a UC.
Grandpa remarried after Grandma Missestoney died. At first, his new wife was “Grandma Diane”, but she became “Grandma” by junior high. She’s still here with us. If anyone can live to be 100, Grandma can. I tell Jack that, and it makes him happy. I really hope I’m right. She goes to the Fitness Center almost every day, plays golf, does errands for and with her friends, and she’s in a bunch of clubs and groups. Her social calendar is probably more packed than ours most months. I know this isn’t a memory, just random facts.
Simultaneously Embarrassed and Proud
11 Dec 2010 Leave a Comment
in behavior Tags: grandparents, reading, routine
Jack has been going through a mean, defiant, boundaries-testing phase of late. It really started in earnest in November. He says mean things and talks in a teasing voice. Or, he comes very close to doing something wrong without quite doing the deed itself. He’s always been worst when he’s with his Grandpa Bob, my dad. Grandpa Bob will forgive Jack just about any wrong.
Tonight, Jack and I went to dinner with Grandpa Bob and Great-Grandma. (For the record, Great-Grandma is my mom’s step-mom.) Jack was demanding – give me cornbread, with butter! That kind of thing. When his dinner came, he announced he didn’t like his burger. Now, I gave up meat sometime in college, but I do remember what burgers taste like. This one, tasted off. I don’t know if it just wasn’t cooked properly, if there was something in the meat (like spices or sauce), or what, but it wasn’t good. So Great-Grandma got the idea that Grandpa Bob should share his fish and chips with Jack. Which Jack loved, because it meant putting his fingers all over Grandpa’s food.
Jack was just very rambunctious, despite many attempts by me to calm him down. While playing with his food (a no-no) he spit at me, so he lost his iPhone privileges.
When we got home, he basically behaved for Daddy, who took a rain bath with him. He was the usual sweet but kooky Jack for getting dressed. Then, he surprised me by being the best at teeth brushing that he’s ever been. Kept his mouth open, let me get all of the teeth on all sides, no problem. I praised him and pointed out how much better that was, and he has promised me that he’ll do it again.
When we got into his room, he picked out Great Day for Up, and he asked if he could try to read it. Now, we’ve been trying to get Jack interested in sounding out words for several months now. He’s always refused. He’s never asked to read something. He read a bit, but the words were kind of hard (I mean, Y-O-U is “U”? You don’t realize how bizarre the English language is until you try to teach a kid its rules), so he asked if I could read him a sports book.
So, probably 80% of the evening, I was convinced that I’m a terrible mom. For the last 20%, I saw that my kid can be a great little man. Let’s hope that 20% overtakes the 80%, shall we?
Thanksgiving In Pennsylvania
28 Nov 2010 Leave a Comment
in activities, family fun, holidays, vacation Tags: grandparents, pictures, pittsburgh, science center, thanksgiving, transformers
Happy Cyber Monday!
Max, Jack, and I were all in Pittsburgh, PA for Thanksgiving, visiting Max’s parents. We had a lovely time! Well, for the most part. Jack was getting a little cranky at times, lack of sleep, lots of sugar, and all that noise.
We arrived on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. We only had a few minutes to make our plane change in Charlotte, but we did it!
Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, we all just hung around the house. Sandy started the cooking, and she and Jack made chocolate chip cookies and pumpkin pie. (I wonder if there’s any pie left… I’ll have to check when I’m done posting this.) Jack, Grandpa Clyde, and I also played outdoors. For the record, temps were in the 30s. Jack kept saying he wasn’t cold. Max is proud – he thinks he’s raising an East Coast Boy.
On Saturday, I insisted that we go to the Carnegie Science Center. Jack’s favorite part? The fact that the Science Center is across the street from Heinz Field, where the Pittsburgh Steelers play. (Grandma got Jack a stuffed dog, whom he named Steeler, too.) Jack also liked the sports science portion of the center, where he got to race Daddy and spin with me. I got him and Max to pose in front of the painting of Neptune, Jack’s favorite planet. Oh! And there’s an earthquake simulator. Apparently, they call the Loma Prieta Quake of 1989, the “World Series Quake”. Weird. Anyway, Jack was totally unimpressed by the earthquakes. California Boy!
Sunday morning, we went to breakfast with Max’s friend Mark. Then, Max and Grandpa went into the attic and unearthed a bunch of Max’s old toys. Jack is now the proud owner of several dozen Transformers, a few Go-Bots, and some Star Wars Micro Collection toys. (We think we might sell the original 1977 Storm Trooper, because he’s worth $50.)
Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure. I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving! Here’s to Christmas!
- Max, Jack, and Neptune
- Posing with Rodimus Prime
- Jack and the Transformers from the Attic
- Jack and His Grandparents
- Thanksgiving Day
- Playing Golf with Grandpa Clyde
- Robyn Skateboarding at the Science Center
- Racing Daddy at the Science Center
Family History Tuesday: Three Generations
23 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment
in family history Tags: cousins, family, grandparents
(originally published on LiveJournal)
This week’s question from Designz by Dede is:
Name three generations of family members on your mother’s and father’s sides, starting with yourself and any memories/stories you have of them.
My long-term memory is as good as my short-term memory is bad. Therefore, I have a lot of stories about distant and not-so-distant family members.
One of my favorite memories – and least favorite, actually – involves my Aunt Sue and Uncle Bruce. I gather that Sue & Bruce met in law school at Berkeley, and they dated for quite awhile before they got married. One day, my Aunt Sue watched my sister and I at her apartment. Not-Yet-Uncle-Bruce was there too. I was about 5, maybe even 4, so Ann would have been between 2 and 4, depending on the time of year. Anyway, we were helping them clean the apartment. Bruce accidentally sprayed Lemon Pledge into Ann’s eyes. He was panic stricken! It was sooooo funny! That same day, we were supposed to go to the zoo. Only it turned out that it wasn’t a real zoo, it was a group of people who were pained to look like animals. I still remember some guy (I think he was a guy) painted like a zebra. Freaked me out, big time.
Both my mom’s mom and my dad’s mom died in 1980. I don’t have a lot of memories of them. I do remember playing hide and seek with Grandma Missestoney (mom’s mom). I also remember a day when my sister and I were running through our house. I pushed my sister into the kitchen towel rack. She ended up having to go to the emergency room, so my mom dropped me with my Grandma and Grandpa. They took me swimming. Later that night, we all had dinner together. The aunts – who I guess still lived at home, or at least nearby – were all trying to get me to eat broccoli. Grandma Missestoney raised her voice and told them to let me be. I used to remember exactly what she said, but I can’t now. I just remember her standing there in the kitchen with a casserole dish.
My Grandma Babica (Babica is Polish for Grandma) lived in this tiny house in Martinez. I found out recently that her second husband built it. I never got to meet him. He died before I was born. Anyway, the house had a garage with a green plastic roof. My sister and I used to sneak out there to see what was in it. I can’t remember if anything good was there. I remember plants. The house had a small backyard with a peach tree. I do remember picking peaches and making Jell-o with peaches in it with my Grandma.
I guess that’s only two generations. Seeing as how only one of my great-grandparents ever met me – and it was in 1976, when I was one – I don’t have any memories of them. So, I’ll come back down to my level – my cousins. I have a zillion cousins. Seriously, there are:
- Vern & Sue, who have Thomas
- Mike & Danara, who have Trevor and Caitlyn
- Joe & Wendi, who have Nick, Chris, and Mandi
- David & Dawn, who have Karina, Marc, and Alyssa
- Tony & Jeanette, who have Lauryn, Jordan, and Teryn
- Roger and his wife, who have kids, but I don’t know them
- Jimmy and his wife, who have two boys, Josh and something
- Anita & Fred who have Emma and Jake (twins)
- Beth & John who have John’s step-kids, whom I don’t know
- Cathy & Scott who have Josh, as well as Scott’s 2 step-kids
- Kristen & Adam who have Eden and Eliana
- Jen
- Dan
- Heather & Stephen who have Stevie and GIa (twins)
- Bill & Stephanie who have Sarah and Isaac
- Jessica
- Tyler
- Nick
- Scott
- Sandy
- Jake
I started out with my Dad’s side (Vern through Jimmy). Jimmy and Roger are my Aunt Betty’s kids. Betty is schizophrenic, and I’ve been scared of her since I was a kid. I found out when I was in high school that she had a third child, whom she placed for adoption. I’ve always wondered about that. My dad’s side of the family isn’t particularly close to us, but they’re still nice people. I was really touched by how many of them showed up at my mom’s funeral.
On my mom’s side, we’re all pretty close, I think. At least Kristen on down through Jake. Kristen, Jen, Bill, Ann (my sister), Dan, and I are close in age. Jessica, Tyler, Nick, Scott, Sandy, and Jake are all my baby cousins, though Jessica just graduated from grad school and Jake is a freshman in high school. He’s the last one in high school actually. Sandy started at Amherst this fall.
I’d also like to mention something I find interesting. In Max’s family, many of his family members became pregnant out of wedlock. In my family, the only member to experience a pregnancy outside of wedlock was my cousin Bill. He and his girlfriend Rachel had Sarah. They split up sometime after Sarah was born, and Bill ended up with custody. He and his new wife, Stephanie, just had Isaac last fall. So my cousins range in age from about 50 (Vern) to less than 1 year (Isaac).
I’ve never met Josh, Caitlyn, Jordan, Teryn, Isaac, or my cousins Jimmy’s and Roger’s kids. I also haven’t met any of the step-kids. It’s not for lack of wanting to. There just aren’t a lot of opportunities to.
Family History: Family Members
10 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment
in family history Tags: daddy, family, grandparents, mommy
Once again, DesignZ by Dede poses a question about family. (And yes, I know that, by the time you read this, it will be Thursday.)
Describe each member of your family. How do you see/feel about your parents, your siblings, your spouse, and your children?
This could take awhile… No, is too much, let me sum up…
Everyone here knows that Jack is 4 and is the most amazing little boy on the planet. I’m seeing some of our habits manifest themselves in him, and I worry about that. I don’t want him to be as stressed as his dad and I.
Max is a complicated guy. I guess I just wish that I knew what I could do to make him happier. My senior year of college, I remember saying something to him like, “I could totally make you do whatever I want.” And it’s true. I can. I try not to use that power for evil, but sometimes, I just don’t think about it. I know what I want, and that’s that.
My mom passed away in May. My relationship with her was complicated as well. I wasn’t the daughter she wanted, and she wasn’t so much the mother I needed. She had a big heart though, and she loved her grandsons. I think life dealt her a bad hand, and she never really got over it. I miss her.
And, speaking of complicated relationships, there’s my dad. He’s 72 right now, 12 years older than my mom. He had meningitis when I was 4 – one of my first memories is of my mom and my grandma (who died in 1980) helping my dad down the hall out the door to take him to the hospital. The disease and/or the medications for it left him with the emotional maturity of a 12 year old. I think everyone would agree that 12 year olds shouldn’t be raising kids. I’ve put a lot of my childhood in a box in my head, and I don’t go anywhere near it. If I did, I think I’d end up like my mom, just too overwhelmed to overcome it. My dad is like a big kid, and sometimes it’s just best to let him do what he wants. Of course, he wants everyone else to care about what he cares about. He’s a gardener. I kill plants. I’m pretty sure that disappoints him.
So, yeah, that’s us in a nutshell.
Mom’s Death, Part Four
31 May 2009 Leave a Comment
in past Tags: ann, dad, death, grandparents, mom
(I originally posted this on LiveJournal. I’m editing it because I don’t want to share everything with the world.)
I last saw my mom on the Sunday before Memorial Day. She was incredibly upset. She brought over a trunk full of stuff, some of which we kept, some of which is in our garage awaiting a long-anticipated garage sale. She gave Jack a really lovely Disney snow globe. (It turns out that the snow globe was a present from her manicurist.)
I talked to her Monday or Tuesday.
The phone rang Thursday morning, a little bit before 8 am. We have distinctive rings for each of our parents, so I knew it was my parents calling. I picked up the phone next to the bed.
Me: Hello?
Dad: Ah… you’re awake.
Me: Not really.
Dad: Mama passed away.
Me: Are you serious?!?
We had a brief discussion, and then I told my dad I’d be over later. I cried for awhile. Jack woke up. I had to stop crying.
I emailed my managers and two of the program managers I work with. I ate breakfast. I called my sister and left a message on her machine. I assumed my dad would have called her at work, so I called her home and just said, “Call me when you have a chance.” My Aunt Sue called me. She had called my mom to discuss the new carpet. That’s when she found out. She called the other aunts and uncles (though not my Aunt Monica, their step-sister). Apparently, my dad didn’t get ahold of my sister, so I called her at work. Her boss told me she was on vacation. I said, “Oh my God she’s in South Carolina!”
I had to explain to her boss who I was and why I was calling. Boss Lady said she’d try to contact Ann. I found my brother-in-law’s cell phone number and called it.
Ann: Hell-lo? (subtext: Why are you calling me?)
Me: Hey.
Ann: What’s up? (subtext: Why are you calling me?)
Me: Are you in a place where you can sit down?
Ann: I’m sitting down. (subtext: are you insane?)
Me: Mom died this morning.
Ann: (breathless) What?
She had to hand the phone to my b-i-l (Jim) and I told him the little that I knew.
I headed to my Dad’s at about 11. I got there as he was leaving to go to the church. The coroner had just left. I drove my dad in my mom’s car. Mom wouldn’t let anyone drive her car, certainly not my father. I got to drive it once, to Safeway, which is about a mile away, and even then I had to promise not to drive over the speed limit or park near other cars. So, driving Mom’s car certainly made me realize she wasn’t there anymore.
We talked to the priest, one I didn’t know. This was actually good, because the normal parish priest called my mom “Nancy”. (Her name is Kathy.) We picked a day for the funeral. We dropped the drapes off at the dry cleaners. We went back to my dad’s house, and dad started picking up one thing after another. He wanted to find Mom’s wedding ring. I couldn’t find it anywhere, though I did find her engagement ring. I got him to sit down and we picked some readings. It was a hodge-podge day. We couldn’t find my grandmother. We knew she played golf in the morning, but when it was about 1:30 and no one had heard from her, my sister (still in SC, looking for flights) said I should call security at her retirement community. At that moment, Grandma pulled up in front of Dad’s house. She was incredibly upset. But, she found my mom’s wedding ring.
My cell phone was lost, so I had to use Max’s, which I hate. I can’t answer it without pressing a button and cutting the person off, and I can’t go through the menus to call back, because the menus are pictures.
I stayed at my Dad’s until after dinner time. I got home around 7:30, and Jack wanted to know why I’d been at Nana and Grandpa’s all day. I told that story in my post about my mom dying.
I didn’t get to bed until sometime after 2 am. My sister’s friend Heidi called and woke me up just before 9 am on Friday. But that is the next day…
Talk Talk Talk
12 Apr 2008 Leave a Comment
in my kids are great Tags: grandparents, names, talk
Jack loves to talk! And he has so much to talk about!
Today, it was 80 degrees outside, and Max cleaned up our balcony, where Jack’s “seeds and water table” is (long story about the seeds). So, Jack comes out while Max is cleaning, I help clean and goalie Jack, but Jack keeps getting in Max’s way. So I bring Jack back into the house, while he’s crying and screaming, because this kid LOVES to be outside. He gets in the house, and he’s all frowny-faced at the door. I said to him, “Jack, you kept getting in Daddy’s way while he’s cleaning up for you.” And Jack says, very methodically, “No. More. Cleaning.” It took a lot for me not to smile. I said, “No touching anything but your seeds and water table.” And he says, “No touching mats.” And I say, OK, and let him back out with me. He tells Daddy, “No touching mats. No touching brooms. No touching hose.” and starts to play with the water in the table.
A bit later, he decided that he wanted to sit on a chair, which was fine. So he sat down, and stretched his legs out, looked up, and said, “It’s a nice day out!”. Adorable!
While he was sitting, he reiterated what he was not to touch, adding “No touching Daddy.” And Max said, “No, Jack you can touch Daddy.” So Jack poked Max’s hand and said, “Touch.”
Jack loves to say our names: “My Daddy Max. My Mommy Robyn.” He knows all of his grandparents’ names – “Kaffy”, “Bob”, “San-ee”, and “Clyde”.
Last night, we were looking at pictures from day care, and Jack was pointing to the kids and telling me who they are. (I’ll have to download them because there’s a visual joke to share.) Anyway, I pointed to one kid saying, “That’s Nico?” because I didn’t know. And Jack said, “No. That Joseph. That Nico. And that Jack.” pointing to each one as he said it. He’s really liking his new day care situation, and so are we. I’ll have to write a post devoted to it.
Tomorrow (well, today really, as I’m up late. Again. As usual.) Nana, Grandpa, and Great-Grandma are coming over. Jack first said the words “Great-Grandma” in February 2007, on cue. I’m not sure I ever told that story. It was awesome! We were working on it just before she came to visit, and I asked Jack, “Who’s that?” and my grandmother was holding him, and he said, “Gate-Gamma”. I’m not sure I had ever seen my grandmother happier. Certainly not since my grandpa died.
Off to bed with Mommy. Soon, I will get more pictures ready and announce this blog to the world!
Jack is Amazing!
18 Sep 2007 Leave a Comment
in my kids are great Tags: abcs, animals, colors, counting, grandparents, mailman, manners, reading, signing, singing, yucky trash
Jack has had some very cute moments in the last 3 days, so without further ado, I will share them. (Then I’ll install more web design software so I can create a site for Meant to Be.)
To start with the most recent first, tonight before bed, Jack and I read The Baby Goes Beep. This is a great book, and although it’s expensive I highly recommend it! Jack was repeating what the baby went: Beep, Boom, Flip, etc. The cutest was “the baby goes la!, the baby goes la la! the baby goes la! la! la! la!”. He repeated the “la”‘s with musical inflection. When it came to the baby going “splash” he counted the ducks. Now, there are only two ducks, but the fact is, I asked “how many ducks” and he counted by pointing my finger at them, saying “one, two, two duckies.” Earlier today, he counted “one, two, two shoes”. So, he can officially count to 2. He counted one frog and one baby, as well. Then, he started saying numbers, “one, two, four, five, eight, ten.” Not bad for 20 months. He was so darn cute I read the book to him twice.
He’s very into Signing Time right now. With the sale and a discount, the entire DVD set comes to $202, including tax and shipping. We had wanted to pay half price,which would be closer to $170 + tax + shipping. Anyway… the point is, Jack is signing up a storm. Sadly, I cannot always tell what he’s signing. New signs include “happy” and “watermelon.” He also knows “mouse” or “squeak squeak” as we call it, and “doll”, which are almost the exact same sign. He signs “dog” when he sees “donkey”. How often does he see a donkey?, you may ask. One of neighbors has a ceramic donkey in the front flower bed. I’m trying to teach him “donkey” = “hee haw” while “doggie” = “woof woof.”
Jack can Baaaa! Like a sheep. He’s really good at it, and it cracks him up when anyone does it, including himself.
When he woke up from his crazy nap today, despite the fact that I left him in his crib to get himself to sleep after trying for an hour, he saw me and gave me the biggest smile. It was heart melting. He pointed to his stuffed animals, now outside of the crib, “Uh-oh bear”, and I gave him his bear, “uh-oh moo-cow” and I gave him his cow, “uh-oh Pooh Bear”, and so on. I asked if he was hungry and he signed “hungry” and said, “food.” So when I changed his diaper, I asked what he wanted and he said, “wawrmaymay”. I looked and he signed “water” and “melon” for “watermelon”. Another new sign! His sign for “apple” is much better than it used to be too.
Jack is obsessed with yucky trash, and with the mail man. The mail man was impressed that Jack recognized his truck from halfway down the block. He asked Jack, “Are you going to be a mail man when you grow up?” and I told him that my dad was a mail man. (Although he rarely drove the truck; he worked inside the mail sorting center.) The mail man also has a wicked tattoo of a dragon. Anyway, the best way to make Jack happy is to hand him something to throw in the “yucky trash.”
Jack is constantly practicing his signing of “mommy” “daddy” “pa” “nana” “great-grandma”. And yes, he says Great-Grandma. Just when I thought I’d never see my grandmother smile so big again, Jack says, “Hi Great-Grandma” as she walks in, and she just beams. The energy from her smile could have powered a small country.
Today, when we were watching Baby Einstein, he sat down and said, “The Baby Einstein Company.” Max was there. He heard it too.
Jack is speaking more sentences, even using “the” to join words. He’s really good about “please” and “thank you.” If he has something in his hand that he doesn’t want, then he’ll hand to the nearest person and say, “Thank you!” Very silly! He says, “Mommy please pick up” when he wants to be picked up, or when he wants me to stand up. I’m trying to teach him the difference between pick up and stand up. Today, he said, “Mommy please pick- please stand up.”
He also said “excuse me” unprompted, when he burped yesterday. I expect that was a fluke.
Finally, Jack is getting better at singing. He knows more words to “Row Row Row Your Boat” and can ask for many different songs. He LOVES the alphabet! Most of the time, he says, “CFP”. But, when I sing “ABCDEF” I’ll pause, and he says, “G” and sometimes “H” as well, and then I sing “HIJKLMNO” and he yells out “P”. Max got him these foam letters and he’s all about picking them up and saying a random letter. He can identify H, but otherwise, it’s all a crap shoot.
It’s the same way with colors. He knows the names of all the major colors, and can often identify green and purple, but usually, he just says colors at random. He now has sidewalk chalk (that he managed to break into bits in less than 2 days), so that’s yet another reason to go “outside.” He always wants to be “outside.” Fortunately, the weather is getting better so we can be out and not want jump into a body of water. We went to the park yesterday for the first time in probably two months, and he figured out how to shovel the sand into the contraption with a funnel that makes a wheel turn when sand is dumped into it. It’s more fun than it sounds.
He can also identify whose shoes are whose, and can usually match them up. Instead of giving me, say a sandal and a sneaker, he’ll give me two sandals. Usually, they’ll even be the proper pair, as opposed to, say, a Teva and a dress shoe.
Other than these wonders, Jack has just been a cute little guy these past few days. Don’t get me wrong, he’s hit, bit, and kicked us from time to time. He’s thrown fits when we say no. But that’s eclipsed by this smart little guy who doesn’t miss a trick. He’s really amazing!














